BREAKING NEWS: Some short, bald simplistic millionaire celebrity has an opinion!
These days, an angsty and aged, Ohio-raised raconteur named Herbert grumbles all of his lectures about inferior life from his Arizona vineyard with his hot Asian wife — just like everyone else.
Herbert’s most recent recitations are a series of blithe, condescending equi-vocational screeds about the tortured myopia of digital-drug-addict victims of an overwhelming, all-seeing, autocratic technocracy; and the moral inferiority of Christians; bleated for his morally barren neo-emo band, A Perfect Circle.
“Da problem iz da Chrischins!!” -freshest perspective EVER
“Sit and talk like Jesus; try walking like Jesus. Try braving the rain. Try lifting the stone. Try extending a hand. Try walking your talk or get the fuck out of my way!,” whines angry little Herbert from his hazy little hamlet, with zero intention of rocking his own rented bourgeois boat any more than necessary to maintain himself as its temporary captain; mimicking the heroically out-of-touch, sheltered simplicity of his childhood hero — a rich, famous, limp, narcissist legend named John Lennon, who waged fearless bed-in “protests” with his (tedious) Asian fuckbuddy, to whore for attention during USA’s terrorism in Vietnam and beyond.
(Then one of Lennon’s loser fans, whose moral-mediocrity had for decades been fanned by loser Lennon’s looting lute, sprinkled led karma throughout the carcass of the gaudy hungry-ghost that was called “John Lennon.”)
Meanwhile, Jesus’s most famous criticisms were of Jews — something Herbert would never dare to do. Not for all the Jew-gold in the world.
Christian non-response to height-hampered Herbert
Meanwhile, plenty Christians were unable to respond to Herbert’s trite accusations of hypocrisy, as they were too busy in Africa and elsewhere, helping to dig water-wells, install solar panels, and other such tyrannies — which never happen, since Christian-hating media moguls are addicted to hiding reality from their hip, happy™ herds.
Herbert doubles down
Requests by flailing, failing fans for further comment from melancholic, manic, colic millionaire Herbert about Christians’ hypocrisy were directed to Herbert’s publicist, Jewseph Jewenstein, since Herbert was too busy in his vineyard and Asian to be bothered with justifying his limp, loaded defamation of Christians — passive, petty observations that are based entirely on (1) pop-anti-culture strawmen created and curated by soulless, suicidal hypocrites, and (2) his wrath born of childhood disappointments inflicted upon him by his long-dead Christian mom; the memory of whom, despite a few trite odes, he has never stopped hating. C’est la short, cynical, passive-aggressive, bald, effeminate fraud.
Twilight of the mentally idle
“Christians are heartless!…AND too naïve to be heartless!” -doublethink of anti-Christian, pro-death lunatics in general.
“Oh so many ways for me to show you how your savior has abandoned you!” -doublethink of bald Herbert himself.
These same hypocrites, when not sanctimoniously decrying Christians’ supposed lack of concern for “the poor, the peaceful, the meek, the merciful” — are busily, neurotically, condescendingly decrying Christians’ naïveté, especially belief in the sanctity of life, which discords with the marching orders of the anti-Christian death-cults to which the vain, vapid Herberts of the world align themselves, as they strut and fret upon shifting sands, throughout their fifteen minutes of frail, fetid fame
For now, one particular Herbert, tucked away in luxury with his very own owned ching-chong concubine, will persist in administering his sonic digital-drugs into the emotional vain.