Opinion: The internet belongs to mentally retarded poop-colored people

*Editor’s note: the views in this article are the opinions of guest contributor Georgina Washington, and do not necessarily reflect reality.

I feel sad, and respectfully acknowledge the internet as the ancestral unceded homeland of some brown people from the past, who banged on hollow logs while saying, “*click clickity click click* ooga booga,” which, in their superiorly native language, means approximately, “Niggas should invent the mufuckin internet, and connect dem shits to mufuckin satellites in da sky!”

Therefore, professors at Ivy Law School have signed a letter, proving that the internet is the intellectual property of every brown person whose IQ distinguishes them as technically retarded.

That said, as a black womyn with white skin and a penis who lives zer truth every day, I know first-labia the pain caused by being told “whoa” and “…um…what?” and “…yeah…no.”

That is why, as the spokethem for said technically retarded persons-of-poop-color, I demand governmental punishment for everythem that misgenders me.

Reality is a social-construct inflicted on us by Geminis who have a moon rising. And everythem knows the pain of [insert grievance], which only exists because [insert scapegoat] insists on [insert incitement based on some en vogue half-truth].

*Georgina Washington is a transzer guest bloggers who sheds zer lingering privilege every day, by pointing out the importance of recognizing that everythem besides straight, cis, white males is a social-toddler, incapable of meeting objective standards, and is therefore owed limitless pity and unconditional reverence.

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